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  • Clare Matty

Happiness.....


What is happiness and where can you get it? why can't we buy it like everything else in the western world! But I know over the years I've looked for it in so many places, most of them externally.

'When I get richer I'll be happy, when I get slimmer I'll be happy, when I get that new car I'll be happy, when I get that ............... fill in the blanks, you get the idea'

I personally find happiness is tied up with my self fulfilment and have spent many years wandering around lost not knowing how to achieve that. Of course I have had times where I have been deliriously happy, falling in love, bonding with my babies, but other times have been empty and leave me feeling lesser than. Today as I write this I am not in a happy place, that's due to a combination of things going on in my life and my disease of depression and alcoholism that can push me into the black place even if things are good. But I know if I take care of myself, physically, spiritually and mentally its definitely an easier ride.

We all have so many things to do, so much stress........ but time for myself is the key, sometimes when I'm low being by myself can be the wrong thing to do, isolation is never the answer, but always have a peaceful time in the day or even the week, where you are you, not a wife, mother, colleague....... just you! I've come to know the things that help me relax and feel calm, help me recharge.

FIVE OF MY FAVOURITE LAZY ACTIVIES

1.DROP THE KIDS AT SCHOOL AND GO BACK TO BED WITH A GOOD BOOK

2. SPEND ALL DAY WATCHING BOXSETS ON NETFLIX

3. PURCHASE LOTS OF GLOSSY MAGS AND READ THEM WHILST CONSUMING CHOCOLATE, CRISPS. ICECREAM...... YOU GET THE PICTURE

4. PERUSING THE INTERNET FOR CLOTHES, BOOKS, FITNESS GEAR & BEAUTIFUL BLOGS TO READ

5.TAKE THE KIDS TO THE CINEMA, WHERE NOW WITH THE COMFY SEATS YOU CAN TAKE A NAP!

Of course the ultimate 'lazy activity' is lying by a pool on a sun drenched day on holiday, but this is not always possible!

Everybody wants to be happy, we kind of assume its our god given right, even if we do nothing about it, but life doesn't work like that, especially if your character dictates otherwise. Happiness HAS to come from within, and that's the hard part, to stop looking outside and seeing it as an inside job. All of the people I know who I would describe as happy, content people have a natural ability to be comfortable with themselves and not seek outside fulfilment. This I've struggled with all my life and its what pushes me into the darkness. Over the years it has lead me to search for happiness in the wrong places which has led to anxiety and depression............oh the irony.

Five of my favourite action activities

1. Exercise, I couldn't live with out it and am blessed as I've managed to make it my living

2. Spending time with my family, even if they drive me mad!

3. Hanging out with my beautiful friends. 4. Going to the Theatre (is there anything more uplifintg?) or out for a gorgeous meal.

5. Spending time at the beach, luckily I live by one, but the Med is nice too :)

I have recently discovered Yoga, its something I've always dipped in and out of and was aware that it could be a brilliant tool for mental health issues, and a hot bod! win, win! But I never found the time to really commit. Until I found two ways to practice, one is my local Bikram studio; Bikram is a really tough, disciplined yoga workout, which I love, as its also a great cardio workout as well as using all the breathing techniques that are so brilliant. You can find Bikram, Hot Yoga and Fierce Grace classes nationwide. If I don't have time to get to a class (which can be often!) I practice online with an amazing girl called Adriene Mishler @ Find what feels good. Heres the link, go and find out for yourself. xxx

There are lots of wonderful and interesting books on this subject, courses you can go on and bloggers to follow...... find links, book suggestions and happiness playlists on here..

#happiness #selffulfillment #yoga

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Clare Matty
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