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Sometimes it's just tough!


Sometimes life is just tough, for so many reasons, some really bad, some not so bad but whatever it is..... it's a pain in the ass!

For years I couldn't sit with painful stuff, I would panic, then drink to numb it all out, it's good not to do that today. To be clear and face stuff as it comes at me. This all comes down to acceptance, acceptance, acceptance, god how hard it can be at times, but trust me it's the only answer. I have to belive I'm right where I'm supposed to be at any given time..... even if it's not right where I'd like to be ;) (infinity pool in Barbados anyone?).

I am however not adverse to distraction techniques for these times, here are a few I highly recommend..... of course you have to find you own passions for this to work!

  • Baking (plus eating it)

  • Exercise (thank god for endorphins)

  • Friends (lean on them, have fun with them)

  • Read (bury yourself in a book, novels for escape and inspirational stuff)

  • Watch boxsets! (My saviour)

  • Do something new and scary

  • Take up a new hobby

  • But do cry..... especially if you're a girl!!

I've been so lucky in my life to be loved my family and I know they wrap their arms around me when I need them, I also have amazing friends and support in recovery. Thank god for all of them 🙏.

What I've learned over the years is you can't always get what you want (thank you Rolling Stones for that one) but you always get what you need. This can be a bitter pill to swallow and can make us sad and resentful but being resentful is only damaging to yourself. It can make us all twisted up and unable to love and be loved. So if you feel angry and hurt give it a bit of time, process it and shelve it as soon as you realistically can. Take care of yourself during this time. Especially if you're in recovery nothing is worth cocking that up. I know for me there is nothing made better with the contents in a bottle!

Second lesson, do the next right thing even if it doesn't feel right to you! Is it right for others? It's better to do it then, damaging others will only come and make you feel rubbish. People have a perception of me that I can take more than I can, this only makes me stronger and able to see things through. I always try and see the good in people and not to hurt others but this isn't always the case. I can make bad judgements and decisions too....the key is to try and have no regrets.

Don't hold on to fear, this is also a pointless exercise, worrying is like a rocking chair it goes back and forth but gets you absolutely nowhere......waste of time or what? Life can be so bloody scary, we as humans are programmed to be wary of stuff but some of us find it harder than others to deal with it. I want to face things that scare me, and I want to deal with things that make me push myself and a stronger me can do this..... I know we all can. I belive that when we face stuff wholly we can become stronger and this is turn makes life easier.

'Pain equals growth' I hear this all the time, and I say it to people, I also know whilst in the pain it can sound bloody annoying but I do believe it to be true.

I realise recently my blogs have been a bit on the down side ;) so from next week I will be posting all my top gags and comedy moments ;) joking aside...... stay tuned for a happy me.

Love

Clare ❤️


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Clare Matty
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