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Social media.... let's discuss?


Now, I realise discussing this while using the medium of social media makes me a slight hypocrite.... however there is so much about it that makes me mad..... instagram and Facebook particularly! Why do people feel the need to express every emotion they experience on these sites?!

I'm the first to admit I love nosing at pics of folks holidays, cute kids, family members I never see, outfits, health tips, yummy food and hearing good news...... but it's the emotional outbursts (put Facebook down before you open the bottle) and the photos that make out you have the best life. Come on Brits we have always been know for having a dry sense of irony. Why then has social media made us go all American on our asses?!

Who wants to wake up to people bragging about their cracking lives? Ok, ok I know don't look at it you say... but we all know we will (I'm of course speaking to girls, boys have Dave and Top Gear reruns). You know you've reached an all time low when you are looking at wedding pics, a friends been to, and you don't even know any of the people involved wtf! ;) I'm so guilty of doing this.

When Facebook first started it was great for me, I had made a sudden relocation from London down to the New Forest.....where I knew nobody....literally not a soul, so using the site to keep up with old friends whilst getting my head around being a mother to a small baby..... I loved it! It meant I never had to leave the house haha. However evetually I had no choice but to leave the front door and enter out into the real world ;)

Since then, Facebook, Instagram and all the other ways to comunicate online have become massive, I have friends who are parents to teenagers who say they never go out! choosing to stay in and chat online.....ummmmmm from one end of parenting this seems like a nice safe option but, really, they are surely missing out on so much. Not to mention cyber bullying which is such a big thing now. When I was at school you could leave your enemies at the gates but now they can get to you anytime! Scary stuff. But a big reality of the world kids are growing up in today.

But, as an adult with insecurities my problem comes back to me and my desire to have it all together like others 'seem' to, now, I know in my rational brain that no ones life is perfect, but when you're feeling like you're on your ass, looking at people being beautiful, competent, happy, prefect parents, in control blah blah the list goes on, can be massively damaging. Not to mention the urge to be nosey..... why do I care so much what these people are doing? I mean I know its obviously a thing or it wouldn't have become the global phenomenon that it is!! Still again this is all things under my control, only I can stop looking at apps, only I can stop engaging with things that are not my business.

I'm a big fan (although not very good at it) of Digital Detox's, I try and have times where I leave my phone off, or out of sight (especially if my kids are with me and I know they are safe). I think we are all guilty of being obsessed with the bloody things, I moan at my kids for looking at screens, whilst looking at screens! We use them to communicate, shop, procrastinate, compare....... I'm not saying this is all negative for me I just think it leaves us with no down time. Stops us being in the NOW!

So heres a few changes I've made recently to help myself switch off;

  • Do not look at social Media after 7pm.... this includes Facebook and Instagram

  • Read real books in bed, not on a kindle or screen type device

  • Don't read news sites later than 8pm....gives me time to switch off

  • Only answer messages from people I really care about and want to chat with

  • Try not to use the evenings to plan work or kids based engagements!

  • Only google light hearted info............although I'm hardly high end anyway :)

  • Once I've set my alarm try not to look at my phone/ipad again until the morning

  • Don't let it be the first thing I look at when I open my eyes...grab a coffee, and have a little word with myself first. You can buy lots of lovely books with morning meditations.

I love the internet, I love chatting with my friends, shopping and organising, using my yoga apps, spotify for music, and I'm never going to stop mooching around Instagram and other social sites, but for me its about recognising whats good for me, what feeds my soul, what makes me feel good about myself and what is truthful.

Lots of Love

Clare x

#sociamedia #soul #feelinggood #confidence

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Clare Matty
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