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Folk come in & out of your life....


And that's ok. I've found throughout my life people have been there in different stages for different reasons. The saying goes...'people come into our lives for a reason' (or something like that!) and this, for me, looking back is true.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, partly because my daughter just turned eleven and she is all about her friends! the usual girl stuff, love hate relationships. But most of them are a lovely devoted bunch of girls. I took them shopping for her birthday and it was lovely watching them all helping each other and telling each other how lovely they looked, although girls/women can be sometimes cruel, mostly these friendships are supportive and loving.

As we all do, I am a Facebook page and have hundreds of 'friends', but really I can count my true friends on two hands ;) When I comes to friendships we have different people in our lives for different reasons....share with, lean on, socialise with, shop with, some people we have in our lives due to shared passions...this is true of recovery, I have made some of the closet friendships in my life through AA, we say we are like survivors of a ship wreck all sticking together....however recovery is a 'bridge to normal living' and I am blessed to have lots of friends surrounding me who help me out and take care of me when I need it..........I like to think I do the same for them too!

To me being a good friend means everything, I've learnt in recovery that I have to nurture friendships just like any other relationship. Spend time listening instead of only talking and thinking about me, turn up when I say I will, keep peoples secrets, don't get dragged into gossip (this is hard) but I do try! As a Mums a network it so important and I tried to build one for myself..........these other mums have been invaluable and have become some of the closest relationships I've ever had.

Sometimes we grow apart over time, this too is ok, I think friendships, like life is ever evolving....people come and go but it doesn't mean we forget them, and we can pick up where we left off (with true friends). But always drop people a line, reach out for yourself and others, if I know a friend is struggling I always offer help, in my younger years I was very wrapped up in myself and my struggles which didn't make me a good friend to have...........today its different. I also embrace peoples flaws as I know I have many myself!

I am blessed to be best friends with my Mum, I cherish my relationship with her above all others, I can talk about anything, she is a massive support and my biggest cheerleader in everything I do....so don't forget family can be mates too.

Most of all cherish and nurture your friendships, make time for people....so drop someone a text now, let them know you are thinking of them...arrange and to meet for a cuppa!!

#friendships #recovery #support

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Clare Matty
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