We are not always responsible...
We are not always responsible for other peoples reactions, of course if we step on others toes we can expect them to be upset, but if we make a well thought out decision that we feel in the long run is a good move for us then we have to go with it and accept that others may feel upset with you. I've learnt that we can't control how others react or treat us however we can control how we react to them, Sometimes we have to do the right thing for ourselves and then let it go..... as long as we know we have done all we can to act respectfully and the decision is made from the heart with no ill feeling.
I find it hard not to take on other peoples feelings and reactions, I'm a terrible people pleaser and my worst fear is how people think of me, I know it shouldn't matter if I'm doing the right thing but I just can't help it. How often have I stayed in an unhappy situation to keep others onside, to meet others needs? Too many to count... the problem with this is that it leads to resentments, if I go along with things I don't want to I end up resenting that person and myself. Recently I have had to make some big decisions which I feel are right for me at this point in my life, these have been upsetting to others, when they react badly and do not forgive me.... I have to let it go, Being me it can bring up anxieties and fears, particularly feelings of uselessness and feeling unsure of myself. Even when I know deep down I've made the right choice.
How then do I deal with this? firstly by seeing my part in it.... have I been unfair, dishonest or actedin a hurtful way if the answer is no, then I have to forgive and believe in myself. Easier said than done. Then I have to forgive the other person, getting resentful and angry with others does me no favours whatsoever! Of course I feel pissed off when people don't react as I 'expect' them to but where does that get me? full of fear and not concentrating on the present moment or the future.
Letting go is something I talk about a lot, I have a massive habit of holding onto things that make me feel negative, angry, hard done by and upset....but bottom line if I feel this way towards anyone I have to forgive them, realise they have their own reasons for being upset and let it go with love and tolerance. I hope then this gives me back my peace of mind.
So the long and short of it is you must go with your gut and if this is good for you, do it, not at the expense of others ....but don't put yourself and your needs behind others because you feel you owe someone or your scared of others reactions..... have some ball and get the hell on with it.
It been a while since I've written, its hard to always feel or know how to put things into words, especially when I'm not in a great place, but guess what sharing takes that away..... so this is a short blog with a big message.
You can't control how people react...only how you react to it back!
Love and hugs